aer lingus sounds dirty.

back again from another wonderful weekend in amsterdam. it was james' birthday on thursday, so on friday lauren and i headed there for some celebratin'. best of all- his dad was there! and we have heard so many stories about this man, so it was an epic visit, really. we got to see a video of highlights of hilarious and adorable james as a kid, had some awesome conversation, and of course, lived the high life.

on friday, we went out to a bar for a drink with some of his friends, who were super easy to talk to and it was just lovely. then we went home, made some guacamole, uncorked some wine, and had an easy night. on saturday, we went out to lunch (at the 404, of course, where else for the best lunch in a'dam?), and ended up home for more cooking. we made a caprese salad, pesto pasta, elephant beans in some delicious herbs and spices, and then BAKLAVA. see the pic. oh man. delicious.

and after that fantastic weekend of conversation, walking around amsterdam, and cooking up feasts that don't end until the sun is almost rising... i'm back to week 2 of being a kept woman. i just went to the store and made some raw vegan tabouleh for dinner tonight- i hope it goes over well. it's something my mom has made before and i love it! it's basically cauliflower, parsley, cucumber, tomato, garlic, green onion, lemon juice, olive oil, salt, and pepper. i think i changed it up a bit but i think it's really, really good!

we're doing a light dinner tonight because i think we're going over for a bikram yoga class... the really, really, hot/awesome classes. it should be really great, as long as i don't pass out! i haven't done a hot yoga class since high school, so i'm going to be pretty rusty. on the up side, i ran six miles yesterday (or so we estimate with our park-laps), and i'm feelin' pretty great.


also... my flight home hath been booked. this wonderful adventure is indeed coming to an end on july 21st... but really, it's just the start of another one, i'm sure. i'm feeling so good about my life choices, which i literally never thought i'd say! but i am. not that it won't be terribly, terribly awful to leave holland, and lauren, and james, and our love nest, and the stroopwafels and the bikes and the tulips and... yeah. but it's going to be great.

so, if you're home when i'm home, we're hanging out. f'sho.

day four as a kept woman

well, lauren started her job on monday (which is awesome, badass, etc.), which means my days are severely different. kind of. i'm basically doin' my thang from 8:30am to 6pm, most of which has been my attempt at manageable goals/productivity. i've done some deep-cleaning, some organizing, bust mostly- cooking! oh yes. i say this in hopes that what i put on the table is delicious: i'm having a huge amount of fun making dinner while she's at work. no homo.

i'm pretty simple, i think i've made guacamole, a healthy spinach artichoke dip with carrots that turned into just a vegetable dip, and then tonight i made a corn, spinach, carmelized onions, avacado, roasted red pepper, and garlic salad (a recipe i took from my mom and molded into something to use the rest of our vegetables), and bruschetta and multi-grain crostini. um, yum. so now that it's done, i'm relaxing with a book and a glass of wine... resisting hard the temptation to go eat it before she gets home! whoa.

tonight we're going out with the interns lauren works with. which means several things. 1) we're finally "going out" in the hague! 2) must stabilize myself for influx of dutch hotties. 3) awesome.

the adventure, alas, is finally coming to an end. it's become apparent that i need to accept the lack of jobs here- not that i didn't try. hard. i think i tapped every market i could think of... oh well. maybe i should have learned the language and/or gotten some working papers or something. instead, i'm coming home on the most expensive flight known to man- $850 one way! shit. and then i return, broke, humbled, and stronger. different. deeper? happier? more bold, to be sure.

number one (debatably) perk of going home: fully equiped kitchen and people to cook for. tightttt.

i made a mix last night of my dutch adventure- check it out:

the decemberists- the crane wife 3
ezra furman and the harpoons- the world is alive
fall out boy- bang the doldrums
the maine- i wanna love you
the mountain goats- heretic pride
queen- don't stop me now
the tallest man on earth- this wind
counting crows- accidentally in love
joe pug- number 14 on donnelly's mix
noah and the whale- sun, sun, sun (5 years time)
cold war kids- hospital beds
rufus wainwright- hallelujah
owen- places to go
norah jones- somewhere over the rainbow
peter bjorn and john- amsterdam
the format- tie the rope
the new pornographers- sing me spanish techno
cat power- naked if i want to
jason mraz- i'm yours
motion city soundrack- even if it kills me
rusted root- send me on my way
rilo kiley- more adventurous

consider it.

well, it's that hour.

if you're not familiar, lose yourself in the world of food porn (thanks to donnelly for this): www.tastespotting.com

... doin' it for the story!

come, children, let me tell you the tale of the most fantastic trip to london that ended in the most awful/hilarious way.

so, lauren and i went to london on july 1st to stay with her friend kelly from home until the 5th. let me go right ahead and say- kelly and jon are the shit. i was a little nervous when lauren said we were staying with her youth minister from camp back in new canaan, but it was nothing like that at all. kelly is 30ish and six months pregnant with her first child, and in a doctorate program at king's college at waterloo to get her PhD in some kind of theology. and she's so open and loving when she speaks about faith that i was absolutely floored. i'm really impressed by the way that she manages faith with the rest of her life, making it wholly a part of it but in no way oppressive or even really defined. anyway, so she and jon moved to london and opened their flat to us, and it was fantastic!

so, our first full day there, we went to burrough market (see the pic)! it was right under tower bridge, and by far one of the best markets i've ever been to. it also helped that i kept spending my meager pounds on sangria to sip while we perused the stalls, and i was a little giggly by the end. so we picked up some fresh bread, cheese, and artichoke hearts, and ate some vegetarian noodle/bean/cous cous concoctions, as well as fish and chips, and then left kelly to go to the tate modern.

the tate is one of my favorite museums by far! it's got a boom-bangin' collection, and is also very manageable in size. their collection is really diverse too, and they're not afraid to take a chance on some really kooky things. lauren ran into someone from her high school class there (holy random happenstance) and we recuperated with espresso on the balcony overlooking the thames, and to st. paul's cathedral. it. was. lovely.

then we walked over to st. paul's, and ended up right when evensong was starting. so, we got to go to the front of the church where the clergy sits, and listen to a choral performance/service. it was really beautiful, and it was a nice addition to this whole being-in-my-head thinking about what i really think, re-evaluating kind of state of mind that's been a theme in this whole adventure.

we walked up to where i used to live, and then over to tottenham court road, and took the tube back to kelly's. we had a quiet evening in with apples to apples, wine, and cheese... literally my perfect night.

on saturday, we woke up and went to leicester square to get tickets for a show. we got tickets for cheap to see avenue q, which was super exciting! i saw it once in high school, but i was so pumped to get to see it again. then we ate a delicious brunch at a place called the breakfast club, and went our separate way from kelly. we went and did a crash tour of london- the british museum to see the elgin marbles, the rosetta stone, and some other... shit, then the lovely walk to the national museum to take in our art quota for the day. it was awesome to be with lauren because she's totally okay with skipping the madonna-and-child/altarpiece era, which i think i'm so over i can't even stand it! we focused on the modern art, which is a really nicely rounded out collection. oh yeah.

then we walked through st. james' park, saw big ben, parliament, westminster abbey, buckingham palace, etc., and then went home. THEN we got dressed and went to the most delicious mexican restaurant, all super fresh and light food, that was ranked number one on london cheap eats! and it was SO. GOOD. i had a cactus-nacho that was out of this world! also a hibiscus margarita... yum. and instead of matches, they give out little chili pepper seeds. awesome.

avenue q was hilarious. seriously. 'nuff said. except for maybe, also, it was hitting so close to home- single, unemployed, and almost 23- sound familiar? haha. but seriously, it made me feel really good about being that way at this time in my life, and that i really can't take myself too seriously.

on sunday, 4th of july of course!, we went to battersea park for an "american" barbeque with kelly and jon. we acquired the most awkward and socially weird man named andy for most of the day, and it was hilarious/really annoying. we also drank a considerable amount of wine and pimm's, got a paddle boat out on the lake, and OH YEAH i definitely danced with a man who couldn't have been younger than 75. turns out, everyone stopped to watch us... yes, i got a standing O from people. if not standing, at least much applause from like... 200 people. amazing? hilarious? yes. all of the above. pictures to follow.

THEN.
Oh.
then.

sunday morning, we got up at 4 am for an 8 am flight out of luton, on the other side of the city. had to take a bus, and a train, and wait, etc., so whatever, we get there at like 7:10. turns out... it was the wrong airport. we came into luton, but left from stanstead. so, of course, we're shit out of luck. we bought new tickets, a bus ticket to stanstead, and waited for four hours. finally, we check in, and go through security, and i set off the metal detector. so i get groped, legitimately needed a cigarette after that kind of intimacy. so then my bag comes through and sets off the machine. lovely. this guy with a spiky ass mohawk is going through my shit, and finds the pepper spray my sister got me for my birthday that looks like lipstick. and he looks at me, and goes...

"you know this is an illegal weapon in the UK."
"whut."
"uh huh. i'm sorry, i'm going to have to get the cops... and they're going to have to take you into custody."

ahaahahahhahahahahaha. i mean, really. after this whole shenanigans, i get taken into custody for pepper spray. thankfully, the cops were super super cool, and we laughed and joked and then i got interviewed, fingerprinted, DNA-swabbed, and photographed mug-shot style with my stats. oh, and i'm blacklisted at all UK airports for five years.

for being armed and dangerous.

i just... i don't even have any more to say about that. hilarious. also, my dad is playing my custody numbers in the lottery next weekend. cross your fingers!

today was lauren's first day of work, so i had to play kept woman for the first time. i power-cleaned our third-floor walk-up love nest, went grocery shopping, made guacamole, did laundry, and went for a run. i also got to catch up with a lot of people, which was really great. i was getting a little lonely after being with donnelly for literally 23 hours of every day for the last six weeks. at which point, i need to point out the strength of this friendship. it's still working so well! i'm beyond lucky to have her in my life, especially to make this move with.

and now, it's 10 pm and still bright as day. lauren's trying to sleep for work tomorrow, but i can't pass out before it's dark out two nights in a row. thus, i blog. it's all for you.

where the crêpes are hot and the nights are hotter

i'm back in paris! the strangest thing about being here is that it isn't strange at all- the year that passed seemed to have never happened. this isn't true, of course, because last year was incredible... i miss the waffle haus more than i could have ever imagined! but having that year was a blessing that i'm going to take with me wherever i go, and even though i'm not sure how it's going to shape my personality quite yet, it will present itself in the future.

so paris! is paris, of course. we've been doing some things like: walking until our feet fall off, picnicking with brie and baguette (and of course wine), reconnecting with some old friends, as well as some old bars, getting some DELICIOUS falafel, and generally just being back in the parisian swing. as much as this place is pretty great, i don't think i'd ever want to move back here for an extended period of time... particularly after being in the netherlands. the french are just so much colder and less friendly, whereas the dutch basically make out with you every time you speak. living in a place where you don't constantly feel like an intruder and an imposition is lovely. so, as great as it is to be back here, i'm pleased to go back to den haag.

with erica! lovely, lovely erica met us here in paris for a few days, and is coming back to the hague with us. our plans include picnics, walking, loving, renting a car to drive to the place with gigantic clogs, tulips, windmills, and of course lots and lots of dutch cheese, heading back to amsterdam (fourth time in four weeks?), and continuing my job hunt.

which seems to be reaching a breaking point, i think. i'm not giving up, for sure, but i feel exhausted with all the possibilities that i've explored, and not been able to take. i just sent out a few more emails to some people with some connections, but it might just not happen. the life drawing classes that require models aren't starting until september, and i really can't afford to stay here until then- so, unless i find something right quick, i'll be homeward bound in a few weeks.

and the more i consider it, the more i'm okay with it. i'm homesick in a way that i haven't been before- it's a wistful kind of homesick, but something that will be remedied with being back with my family. it's been difficult coming to terms with this, but in reality, it's so clearly the best choice. i'll have some time to reconnect with my family, save some money, and clear my head to find out what i really want to be doing with myself. this trip has been a really big learning experience for me, mostly in terms of sorting out what's going on in my head, and why. lauren and i have been talking a lot about life-things, and what we consider to be happiness and success, why we think that way, and if it's right. so whereas last year moving home was the most awful thing i could have imagined, and i would feel like a total failure... now it seems like the most important thing i could do.

think of all the things to do! i have such grand plans. even if i find a job here and stay until december, i'll be home eventually for awhile, and it's going to be great. i'm going to get more involved with food- growing it, making it, eating it, loving it. i want to get back on the piano and find a way to express myself that i think has been stifled for awhile. i want to read every book on every shelf in every library- starting with the classics that i despised in high school, but now i'm gaining so much from re-reading them in my current life-state.

i'm not even really sure who's actually around in bethel, but i'm okay with that. i've been learning to be my own person, to do my own thing, and to make myself happy with myself. and it's lovely, really, to not have to scramble around to find company and itch for something to do. if you're in the area, hey, we're going to be friends! if not, well, that's okay too. cross your fingers that i won't be back until the winter, but if i'm home next month, it's going to be a strange and delicious new chapter.

on a lighter note, there are more jonas brothers look-alikes in paris than i've ever seen in my life.
also, today is fête de la musique- the entire city is filled with free music all day long! we made a brunch today, and now the rest of my traveling companions are asleep (erica with a hangover, lauren with her mouth open, jess with her michelle-sized feet hanging out- and i love them all) until we head out to see saul williams and the mtv shake ton booty party. oh. man. this is going to be hilarious.

in the meantime, i'm going to go finish reading lolita by vladimir nabokov- thank goodness for james and his extensive library collection, that he's so good about sharing with us. if you're familiar, you know how fucked up this story is. if not, it's really fucked up. but so good. reading books with protagonists who aren't exactly moral a-listers is an interesting switch...

tu me manques, tous!

a job, perhaps?

i might have a job!!! once the beach turned me down (lame) and no one in the city needs extra help (also lame), i started to reevaluate other options... and i started emailing art schools in the area to see if they need models. at home, they pay a decent amount, so i'm hoping that this pulls through! i got an email from a woman who is the director of "several programs in the hague" and said she is going to call me about "several classes"! this is beyond exciting to me. if i can stay by letting people be moved by my beauty (obviously. ahahaha) and compelled (instructed, rather) to draw me, that would be so ideal. lots of down time, decent money...

the other option i have out there literally walked into me. or, i walked into him. i was leaving the house the other day and bumped into this guy who was talking about energy plans or something... long story short, we got talking and his family lives in new jersey, etc. etc., and he said his girlfriend works under the table a few nights a week and makes about 100 bucks a night. and he's going to check some things out for me and see if he can find me some work! awesome. it sounds a little strange, i'm not really sure why someone would make an effort for a stranger... but hey, i like it.

in not-job news, jess silber is here! my love, my love. she got here yesterday and we just had a delicious picnic in the park (bread, cheese, tomatoes, basil, stroopwafels, chocolade pasta wit, wine, wine, wine...) and got a little silly and went to sleep. today we're going into leiden to meet up with her friend anton who's taking us around (he's from there) and i believe to THE HERRING FESTIVAL. this has been a huge selling point for me since the beginning. hooray for the first catch of the season! and for the darling little dutch people who make a festival for it.

and then we're going back to amsterdam, because james is the shit. seriously, we went last week for one night, and ended up staying for four! he just keeps inviting us, and it's so appealing. seriously, great guy, fantastic conversation, and food that basically drives me into a delicious, delicious coma every time. last time we made (actually created) pasta, and pesto, and a pecan pie, and a blueberry crumble, and oh my goodness so many things. so, we're going back on sunday for a night (or two?)

and JACOB is going to be there! jake and i basically were up in each others' business all the time in paris- my homie, if you will. and he's how i met james- they went to american university paris together. so jake is coming to visit james, with emma (delightful british ginger who also cooks quite well!) and it's going to be just lovely.

so, cross your fingers about being able to sell my body, and we'll see how this pans out...

chocoladepasta in my mouth.

... this just needs its own post. this is my dream food. it's basically white chocolate in the consistency of thick, creamy peanut butter. what. what. whoever invented this is my new hero. lauren and i have both been slimming down significantly since we've been here, but this is going to take care of that for sure... AWW YISS.

wanted: gainful employment

oyyy. yesterday was emotionally draining, to be sure! it was the day i set out to find a job on the beach. scheveningen is the more popular of the two beaches, and every place i went in town to find a job told me to holler at the strand (beach). so, with a hopeful heart (because literally everything in the netherlands just happens, it just works in a strange way), i headed out to find a job.

not so easy. i hit probably 25 places on one side of the beach, and got flat-out turned town from probably 18 of those places. SUPER NICE PEOPLE, though, everyone was very understanding and wished me luck. i think 6 or 7 asked for my number and contact info, and said they'd call me. i have a feeling they were just humoring me, but at least one or two of them seemed plausible. one is at a place called copacabana, and the girl who owns it said she has a swedish girl leaving at the end of the month. i'm definitely going back there to stalk down her job! the other is the land of hot men. literally, the two most attractive men i've met since i've been here. the owner, i think his name is... well, okay, i actually don't remember. i was too stunned by his beautiful blonde hair and face and tall... anyway. and then he directed me to the kitchen manager, mischa, who is not only hot, but willing to flirt with me while i begged for a job. we'll see how that goes...

so, there are some prospects, but nothing totally promising. today we're taking the day off from the hunt, and going to a free concert in the spui (town square) with a picnic, then walking to the ICTY (international criminal tribunal for the former yugoslavia) where lauren is working. then, as per our routine, we'll probably come back, read in the park, take a nap, drink some wine, talk about life... it's a lovely routine. adding employment to it will only be more productive!

if nothing works out in den haag in the next week or so, i'm seriously considering taking a job in a bar in amsterdam that james can hook me up with. kind of a commute, to be sure (35 minutes each way), but it would be worth it to stay here! i gotta figure out how to do that. i love it here. i also found out that many of the masters degree programs here are in english and also can be fully covered. what. a free masters degree in leiden or amsterdam? i would say, yes yes yes. but we'll see- london is still calling, as is UC berkeley, somewhere in oregon, maybe new york, and i really do want to see if i could ever get into an ivy... but i digress.

if i can't find a job, and i do have to go home, i think i'm totally okay with that. i would LOVE to stay here, but if i can't get a job, it's two factors that i just can't help at this point- i'm not fluent in dutch, and i don't have experience in huge restaurants. i'm doing all i can, as well as applying for nanny jobs/ english/french/art history tutor jobs, etc... but if it doesn't work, then home is always where i can go and be loved and be happy. i'll eventually be back with butch and shirley for awhile, and whether it's sooner or later i can't say, but i will definitely be happy for the downtime and chill time with my family. i feel like i haven't seen them for extended periods of time in so long...

i need a bike. employment, find me!

oh my love, what is a stroopwafel?

woo!! den haag is now our base of operation. yesterday, james and lauren and i rented a car and drove from amsterdam to the hague to move us in! can i just say- this is not a stereotype. not only did the radio play almost solely eurotechno, but as i'm writing this there are not one but TWO cars battling it out on my street for loudest techno dance party within a vehicle. oh man, if there was ever to be a soundtrack, it would involve sick beats and twisted techno.

so, i hope my parents are pleased with the fact that their daughter graduated with a degree and promptly used graduation money to rent a room in holland from a guy named taco. but seriously, the room is decently sized, and definitely in our price range. we moved in yesterday, and our neighborhood is just fantastic. on the corner is a convenience store, and next to that is a wine shop, an international art club, a bar, a döner kebab place, and a gallery. amazing, right? there's also a place on the other corner where you can paint ceramics like art and soul (yes kristin. you read that correctly.), and there's a coffeeshop about a 10 minute walk from here, on the way is a grocery store. perfection, really. and there's a park that we can see from our room, and a canal on the other side of the street!

so, yesterday when we moved in we went to the beach and james bought us a beer (as if that man hasn't already done everything amazing for us), so we sat and watched a regata on the water while we reclined on the beach. perfection. also there's a bungee jumping tower on the pier that goes over the ocean- i'm so into that. terrified, but i want to do it!

then we came back, went for a little walk, and settled in. cracked open a bottle of the finest 1e90 bottle of albert heijn store brand, cut some of the gouda, and put it on baguette.

p.s.- we bought a kilo of gouda. yes, you can buy cheese by the kilo here in a regular supermarket. amazing. perhaps the happiest moment of my time here thus far.

and then we watched grey gardens on the interweb and fell asleep. it was so convoluted and psychologically twisted, and in the end just very sad. but it was really well made and drew barrymore is just phenomenal... as usual.

this morning, lauren and i got up for a long walk around the city. hopes of gainful employment dancing in my head, we walked over to the centrum, and the center of town is only about a kilometer away. we stopped in a few places asking if they needed any sort of help, or had any ideas, but most of them were full (although i am waiting for the manager of an irish pub to call me back). everyone said the same thing though: GO TO THE BEACH! apparently it's very easy to get a job on the beach for the summer at least, and it pays well. so, tomorrow that's where we're going! the rest of the walk, we headed over towards the parks, which were huge and full of nature- but no place to sit in the sun! very strange, but we probably just didn't get to the right part- there are three parks that all blend into each other. so we walked home, super exhausted but fulfilled. the hague is the second most important (or some kind of credential) U.N. city after new york, so there are embassies all over the city. we passed a lot of those, and also the M.C. Escher museum, an open market of antiques and of course HERRING, and the peace palace, which i don't know a lot about but it's a pretty important tourist attraction- must research.

we hit an indonesian place for take out on the way home. we were planning on just roughing it with some baguette and wine, but it was 7e50 for a huge thing of rice, four different vegetarian dishes, tempeh, tofu, and a curry egg. OH YES PLEASE. so much food, so cheap. this place is my dream.

so now, it's time for a definite nap (almost four hours of straight walking and absorbing!), and then to nom some of that food. and then there's a free salsa club tonight! so i think we're going to attempt to get out and explore the nightlife of den haag. oh yes.

spreekt u het Engels?

insanity. this place is unreal!!!

lauren and i have been in the netherlands for just over thirty hours, and it's been unreal. once we got past some initial issues (ms. donnelly had a little trouble with the plane food), everything started falling into place.

my friend james, who i met through jacob at the FEU in paris, has been living here for almost two years, and like a gem not only said we could stay in his apartment, but that he would fetch us from the airport! so, that was great. we've only met twice before this but everything fell into place, he's such a fantastic host and easy guy to get along with! so, once we got back to his apartment (which is INCREDIBLE, it's absolutely huge and clean and decorated like a magazine... also has a living room with all windows looking over a canal) and called the parentals to let them know we were a-ok, had an espresso from his darling machine, then we decided to venture out for some food.

we ended up at this little lunch place in the centrum which was VERY cheap (3e25) for a huge, delicious sandwich with young dutch gouda (oh yes. cheese prevails.), chives, tomato, cucumber and lettuce on a panini. oh. man. after a bold move (i may or may not have pooped in the men's bathroom because some broad was probably doing the same thing in the ladies') we moved on to get donnelly a cell phone, which was sold to us by an adorable (-ly hot) dutch man who was also hilarious. excuse me... she lost her phone number. can we have yours? then we walked over to james' favorite coffee shop (which clearly does not sell coffee, but has a great selection of weed and hash), and he knew the people there so it was a totally friendly and enjoyable place. it's a strange thing to know that i've moved to a place where these things are basically legal... and i'm too broke to really partake of it! but in all honesty, i've had my time to chill with the herbal and i can't imagine living here for a shorter time than humanly possible just so i can smoke. this is a growing experience for sure... priorities. and my priority is to stay here as long as i can because i think i may be in heaven.

then we walked to vondel park, which i vaguely remembered from my previous adventures here (although, understandably so, not so well), and it was wonderful. dutch babies are infinitely cuter than american babies, and the park was resplendent in the baby sector. so we hunkered down on a lovely patch of grass in the sunshine and talked about science(!) while we watched a group of people do yoga on TOP of other people. it was amazing! i would love to be able to get to a point where i can do things with my body again that are cooler than just running and exercising.

then we walked back and went to our first dutch grocery store, which was obviously awesome. so many new cheeses! but james is an excellent chef, so we bought food for him to cook for us (which as much as it was a thank-you for him, the food was in turn a better gift for us!), and he made a DELICIOUS cheesecake and some kind of italian pasta with a vegetable-y red sauce. further proving that yes, indeed, i am evolving as a person- red sauce AND cheesecake, two things i don't necessarily love, but i ate them and i did in fact love it. the picky eater of my childhood has evolved for sure!

the strangest thing is how late it stays light out here. i didn't even think about it, but we're so much further north! it was light out until well past 10 pm last night, and apparently by the time june 21 rolls around it'll stay light until past 11:30! what a wonderful treat. sunlight is the best gift in the world.

so after much cooking, chatting, and eating, lauren and i finally succumbed to the jet lag we had been resisting so hard. i slept better last night than i have in a very long time, and it was much needed. we woke up at 9 this morning to take the train to den haag, where we met our landlord- taco. oh yes, that's right- our landlord's name is taco. taco is a great man, young and dutch and hilarious! he met us at den haag centraal and took us to the room we're going to rent for the month of june, which is tight quarters to be sure but for 400e a month, it's in a nice part of town and there's a bathroom, kitchen, and washing machine to share. apparently the other people in the building (i think there are three?) also work in the ICTY or ICC where lauren will be, and one of them is a girl named sarah from chicago! coincidence? if only it was my love. but in any event, it'll be nice to live with people who are already acquainted with the city and maybe know some things that would be helpful to us.

so basically, in thirty hours, we have accomplished everything we need to do. the only thing left is to find me a job! everyone seems very positive about it though- apparently jobs in restaurants and bars are pretty easy to find under the table, if i can't find a nanny position. i'm very, very hopeful about this! i've never wanted so badly to find employment to make this work. it's the first time i've made some kind of crazy move that wasn't as a student, with specific goals and finances and the whole two bits. this is totally up to me to make this work, and i'm going to succeed! it'll happen. it has to happen. this place is just so damn happy.

everyone here is SO nice, in a way that i've never known abroad. paris was fantastic, obviously, but i never felt wholly at home there. the language barrier was too hard, even though i do speak a decent amount of french, and the people were just less-than-friendly about it. however, everyone here is just so helpful, so nice, and so... awesome. everyone rides around on their bikes with their beautiful blonde hair blowing in the wind and flowers in their baskets with big smiles on their faces, and i can clearly understand why. this place just oozes happy.

the most important thing is working on the wee one. KRISTIN ROSSI GET HERE NOW. we did some video chatting last night and i'm pretty sure it was the most convincing argument the don and i have ever made. it's real. kristin, get here! also, the rest of you. everyone. we've hatched a grand plan to create the waffle hague.

so we're now about to take a little nap, and james is making a banana cream pie whilst we sleep and then we're going swimming! then back to finish the pie and make some kind of vegetable risotto. this. is. insane.

on the plane i was doing a lot of thinking, and i'm really very lucky. and i've always known this, but at this point it's starting to blow my mind. i like to think that i've worked for what i've done, but i know a lot of people really made this happen for me. and not only that (which is amazing, p.s., shirley and butch are my heroes and i love you guys, also thank goodness for the generosity of the grandma), but the people who make me miss home. i am so lucky to have not only the best family, but the people in that haus absolutely made this past year the most incredible of my life- the five of us functioning together in our little love nest really gave me some kind of experience that i can't quite put my finger on, but it solidified something in my heart that makes me ache for the haus and those people. caitlin. kaila. kristin. GET HERE. and everyone else fantastic that i'm missing in a big way- you know who you are. thank you for being in my life in such a positive way... and thank you for supporting me in this crazy, insane venture that we're making.

so now, it's time to go make a banana cream pie and go swimming! and then make some dinner, maybe have a little night out on the a'dam-town, and then get ready to move into our first place. i'm rambling, i know, but i've never had so many thoughts going through my brain! so thank you, blog, for providing me with solace from keeping these thoughts only to myself. if they didn't come out, i think i'd explode.



oh and hey, ik houd van u.

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oh man oh man! the last two hours have been the most exhilarating i've had in a long time.

i booked a one-way ticket to the hague! oh man. i'm actually going, with no money and no job, on an insane whim to the netherlands. this is probably, no definitely, the most terrifying thing i've ever done. and oh man. crazy. delicious. DECADENCE.

and with my life partner! lauren and i have begun to rarely speak in anything but "we" terms.

and i bought a ticket to go see my loves in paris! two of the most important things, taken care of. now if only we had somewhere to live... ahaha. oh well. lauren's working for the government, i'm sure they have a nook somewhere in a building we can crash in.

there are so many wonderful things to look forward to! i can finally learn some dutch, and take care of my new year's resolution- albeit a year and a half later. and going back to paris, oh man! let the brie and baguette commence. et du vin, bien sûr.

so for now, with this fantastic adventure waiting for me in 23 days... back to ernst kitzinger's byzantine art in the making. how can a girl be expected to concentrate when it's all happening?

charlotte?

tiffany is moving to charlotte in january. i get back from the netherlands in november. tiffany needs a roommate!

maybe i'll go to charlotte. i always said i would never try the south, but a) tiffany rules. b) it's cheaper! c) so they say, charlotte is the new black... "up-and-coming city" always means art. d) tiffany rules. e) it's an adventure!

so i mean, who knows. i could go back to chicago, i could punch kristin in the face until she hooks me up in providence, if seely and hemmer go to california, i mean, i could do that too. grad school at berkeley would be tiiiiiight.

making lists of possibilities is just so nice. i have to do that every once in awhile to make sure i stay grounded. this life-segment is just the weirdest thing i've ever been through. I'M ABOUT TO HAVE A LIFE AND I NEED TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. oh yesh. i think i could be happy wherever i am as long as i have people i love around me...

bringing me back to a) and d). tiffany rules.

p.s., if for some reason anyone at uconn reads this: take back the night tonight at 6 in the SU ballroom! go go go. support!

shame.

i just woke up after snoozing my alarm every five minutes for an hour and a half. i didn't even realize it. the culprit?

dreaming about an ex boyfriend from years ago. the shame. why does that happen? and why does it put me in such a bad mood?

because we don't want this. they're exes for a reason. how dare you disrupt my peace?

and make me two hours behind on the ten page paper i have to write?

blarg. on the upside, yesterday was phenomenal. thanks to all involved... even though im pretty sure i'm just blogging to myself.

coming up: the last chance to complete seduction, spring weekend, the art after dark party, and shannon! this weekend has a sunny forecast for sure.

also,

i can't yet figure out how to edit an entry. someday i'll put the effort forth to figure it out, but halloweentown high is on and i can't ignore it any longer.

did i mention that when we were leaving the parking lot, we drove by the gallery and the show had let out so it was open again? fml.

is what the cat brought upstairs this morning. alive, no less. WHOA, team kaila. valiant effort by caitlin with one brown glove and a pair of chopsticks.

last night, at 7:23, i remembered the "singular women" show opening at theaterworks in hartford (http://theaterworkshartford.org/) from 6:30-8:30, the first show that i wrote all the wall labels for at the museum. WOOP so my amazing hausmates made a mad dash and we left the haus to try and make it. at 8:39, when we got there, it was CLOSED. how dare they take away the free wine and cheese spread right at 8:30? and lock the doors? fools.

so we went to black bear and had some wine while we chatted with erin (hilariously my little in the frat... perhaps one of the better characteristics of my membership) and then came home, stopped for some s'mores provisions, and had a bonfire. which was, in fact, a fantastic idea.

the bonfire is the most essential of the warm-weather hangouts, i think. something about it just screams freedom, which i think is one of those life-concepts that is starting to stare us all in the face. at least, i hope so. in any case, may, glorious may, will be full of bonfires and hangouts.

so much work to do, but today is the human rights festival! DEAD PREZ is playing a free show, which in itself is enough reason for me to pee myself, but the lawless coast is playing too, and there's usually a myriad of hippie dippy activities to partake in and people to talk to.

with kristin as my wingman, wine as my lubrication, and the new jenny lewis cd as my... well, who knows, because i haven't listened to it yet, but when i do, i'll know...- i'm off to tackle the alternative crowd of uconn. goal: new, good people for my life. our lives.

p.s.,

i wonder how long it will be before i succumb to twitter?

i can smell may in the air

woop woop! in an effort to keep up with the world while simultaneously giving in to the internet and the fifteen minutes of fame it offers... it's bloooooooog time!

i'm not really sure how this is going to go, but i do know that i'm graduating in three weeks, moving to the netherlands with my "life partner", and embarking on a voyage of debauchery. i should probably have some sort of record of this, and clearly technology has thwarted my pen and paper. i mean, mostly. everyone has to have a place for real secrets.

my internship at the new britain museum is almost over, but there is a lovely luncheon and a black and white art after dark party between now and then. as far as internships go, i had a fantastic time with this one- i got to internet all day and write tiny blurbs about art and artists. um, awesome? plus there is a SICK coffee machine. delicious.

i have today off, and lo and behold, productivity! i've actually been researching, which appalls me. in the next few weeks, i have many many papers due. whoa. one discussing the evolution of tseng kwong chi's "expeditionary series" of self portraits, another taking a similar path of cindy sherman's work, another curating an exhibit of late antique fakes and forgeries, and the last something to do with the exhibit at the museum i researched, either contemporary photography or the show of portraits of women. whoa. research is the balls.

i think it's time to take a break for sunshine.